Caterpillar
by Scribbles-by-Kate
Summary: Alice tells Rumple he reminds her of someone she once knew and Rumple opens up about his quest. RumBelle and Rumple/Alice friendship.


Just a silly thing that came into my head that I liked, so… here it is :)

 **Caterpillar**

'You remind me of someone, you know,' she said, 'someone I knew in Wonderland.'

Rumplestiltskin turned to find Alice walking behind him. So much for a bit of peace and quiet. The girl seemed to like talking. Still, he didn't mind her company. She was chatty, but at least she didn't always require his contribution to the conversation. Now, though, he could tell she was waiting for him to speak.

'Who's that: the Mad Hatter? Hardly a compliment,' he said dryly. 'Though the one I knew was a good man, if a little...unhinged.'

'Nah, not him.' She made a face. 'He was _weird_.'

'I'm not weird?' Honestly, he was aware he probably gave that impression, which was why it surprised him that Alice stuck around.

She grinned. 'More like...eccentric.'

Yeah, like that was better than weird. He rolled his eyes. 'Thank you for that.'

'Nah, come on, you have to admit it's eccentric to be carrying those knives around. What are they for? Come on, you can tell me.' She was an insistent thing, just like Belle. His wife always wanted to know where he'd been, what he'd found: she always wanted his stories about objects he brought home. He wouldn't admit it for a long time, but he always loved those moments. Still, Alice wasn't Belle, and it was better that he didn't involve her in his quest, better for her. She had her own life, her own troubles.

'Alice, trust me, it's better that you don't know.' And he meant that to be the end of the conversation. She was a nice girl, and she'd helped him out enough already. She didn't need to be mixed up in his search for the Guardian.

'You could trust _me_ ,' she said. 'Maybe I could help?'

'I don't think so, Alice,' he said, and walked on.

'The caterpillar,' she said, _apropos_ of nothing.

He turned to face her, curiosity getting the better of him.

'I'm sorry?'

She walked towards him. 'That's who you remind me of, from Wonderland: the caterpillar.'

'Well, _that's_ a compliment,' he said sarcastically, walking away again.

'Don't be like that,' she called, coming after him. She put her hand on his arm, but removed it quickly when he flinched. 'Don't you wanna know why?' she asked.

He rolled his eyes again. Impossible girl! Though he couldn't deny he was curious. 'Go on, enlighten me.'

'You're a bit crotchety,' she said. 'No, wait: there's more,' she insisted, when he sent her a forbidding look, and began to turn away again. 'You're crotchety, but you're also wise, and I think...kind of ancient.'

He stopped walking, not looking at her now. She had a habit of hitting quite close to home. She had a sense about people, this girl, just like Belle.

'You've been around a long time,' she went on, 'seen a lot.' She was warming to her subject now. 'That's how come you're wise,' she said knowingly. 'That's also why you're crotchety, because you've seen it all before. I think you're tired. Caterpillar was too. Sort of jaded, you know? He was waiting and waiting to turn into a butterfly. I get the feeling you're waiting for something too.'

He didn't say anything. She shrugged.

'Well, anyway—'

'Did it ever happen?' he asked.

'Did what ever happen?'

'Did he ever turn into a butterfly?' He tried not to sound hopeful, but he couldn't keep the wistfulness out of his voice, and by the smile in her voice when she spoke next, because he couldn't look at her, though he could tell she was smiling, he knew she heard it.

'Yeah: yeah, he did. Went back to Wonderland one time, and there he was, fluttering around, happy as can be.'

He suspected she was humouring him, but he nodded and walked on. She fell into step beside him and they didn't speak for a while. She suspected he was processing what she'd said, and, for all that Alice liked to talk, she also knew when to be silent.

Rumplestiltskin realised she was just trying to get to know him, just trying to help him, like Belle all those years ago. Well, he'd let _her_ in, and he'd been happy, so happy, and he _could_ do with a friend... Belle would tell him to let Alice be his friend, since she so obviously wanted to be. It wasn't good to be alone, especially not now.

'You were wrong about one thing,' he said quietly.

'Go on, then: what is it?'

'I haven't quite seen it all before.' He looked at her. 'Never known anyone as chatty as you, not even...' He second-guessed himself. What good would it do to tell her?

'Not even?' she prompted when he trailed off.

'Not even my wife,' he said, taking a breath to say it. Belle would encourage him to be brave, and there was no getting rid of Alice, so all this was bound to come out some time anyway: might as well be now.

Alice nodded. She'd suspected he was married. She'd seen the ring on his finger. And the wife wasn't here, so...

'Talks a lot too, does she?' she asked.

'Yes. Thought she was the chattiest person I'd ever met, until I met you. You hardly ever stop.'

'Why d'you let me hang around, then?' she asked cheekily, smiling a bit.

'Something you said when we met,' he said.

'You mean me yelling at you for making me lose the rabbit?' She made a face, sorry for being a brat to him then.

He shook his head. 'No: "I like a good puzzle." It reminded me of her.'

'She likes puzzles too?'

'In a manner of speaking.'

'Nah, you've _got_ to explain that,' she insisted, smiling.

'She liked mysteries,' he said.

'Sounds like a clever woman,' she said approvingly.

He nodded; smiled a bit. 'She was. Cleverest woman I've ever met.'

Alice smiled again. 'So, she liked mysteries: what kind?'

'Mostly the ones involving me,' he said.

'I can sympathise,' she said dryly: 'you are a tough nut to crack, Rumplestiltskin.'

'Not for her, in the end,' he said quietly. 'She knew me better than anyone, better than I knew myself.'

'What's her name?'

'Belle.'

'And where is she now? How come you're not with her?'

'I suppose that's where me being like your caterpillar friend comes in,' he said quietly. 'You said you thought I was waiting for something: well, I am.'

'You're looking for her, aren't you?' He obviously loved this woman very much, and she clearly wasn't here, and not being with her…well, it looked like it hurt him, so she could understand him looking for her, but where was she?

'I'm looking for the way to get to her,' he said.

'Where is she?'

'In the next life.'

Alice stopped walking. She should have realised: he was talking about his wife in the past tense.

'She died? I'm sorry.'

He shook his head. 'She's waiting for me. We'll be together again, once I've done what I need to do.'

'And what's that?'

'Pass on the burden I carry to the person who can put it to rest.'

'That's what the knives are for?'

'That's what they're for,' he confirmed.

'But what's the burden?'

He looked incredulously at her. 'You must know who I am, Alice.'

'You're Rumplestiltskin.'

'That's my name, but haven't you heard of me? From your father? I'm his crocodile. I'm the Dark One. Surely you knew that?' He couldn't believe she was ignorant of his identity. Maybe that was why she hung around: maybe she truly _didn't_ know who he was.

She studied him. 'I know a lot of things about you,' she said. 'Some of them matter more than others. One of the things that matters is that you love your wife very much. I can see that in your eyes. Another thing that matters is that you care about your grandson being safe. Another thing that matters is that you put up with me, and you're nice to me.

'Whatever you did to my papa: whatever else you did, all that's in the past. You're a good man now. In the end, that's all that really matters.

'So, tell me, why do you carry those knives? What's this burden you're talking about?'

'Alright, I'll tell you,' Rumplestiltskin said. If she really had such a good opinion of him, then he believed he could trust her, and…and maybe he needed her good opinion, so he could believe in the best in himself. Being without Belle was…hard. He didn't have her there to help him stay in the light, but if Alice saw good in him, if she understood what he was trying to do, maybe that would urge him to keep to it, when it seemed hard.

'Before I can be reunited with Belle, I must find the person who can take the Darkness from me, the person who can put it to rest.'

'But what does that mean: put it to rest?' she asked.

'I became the Dark One by killing the previous Dark One. That's how the Darkness continues on, through an act of murder. If someone were to kill me, they would become the Dark One, but I don't want that, and Belle wouldn't want that. There's someone called the Guardian who can take the Darkness and lay it to rest, so that no one ever has to bear this burden, this curse, ever again. This Guardian is who I'm looking for. When I find them, they'll take the Darkness from me, and I can be reunited with Belle, and know that the Darkness can never blight another soul again.'

'And the caterpillar can become a butterfly,' she said.

'I suppose so,' he said softly.

Alice nodded. 'That's brave,' she said: 'that's another thing that matters.'

'It's the most important thing I'll ever do,' he said. 'No one must ever go through the horror of being enslaved to this again.'

She nodded again. 'Will you let me help? Maybe I can help you find this Guardian.'

He looked at her. He nodded. 'Maybe you can.'

 **The end – thanks for reading :)**


End file.
